Hope.

I want to write about everything I am feeling and thinking and worrying about, but its so difficult. 

I had a talk with a friend of mine today just about life in general and it kinda just kept me thinking the rest of the day about it. 

People have so many dreams of things they want to do when they get older and I just do not want to be one of those people who never get any of their dreams.

I want to travel, I want to have a job I love, I want to fall in love again and experience life with someone. I want to live my life the way I have always dreamed it.

Lately I have been really afraid that isn't going to happen to me. I thought I had it all figured out there for a bit, then everything changed and I see now I just don't.

I know, I know I have time to figure things out. I just thought I would be closer than I am.

Little over a year ago I thought I had found THAT guy. Two years ago I thought I was going to go to college, succeed just like I did in highschool and have the time of my life. 

Now, I am afraid I wont be able to fall in love again like I was. I am afraid I can't do the college thing as well as I thought. I am afraid I won't have all my dreams come true that I had hoped for.

I am afraid because I know I am have so many disappointments and hurt ahead of me. I hope my dreams happen in there somewhere. I hope I achieve and make something of my life, because I KNOW I can. 

I hope I am happy.